


Pronoun Play

by MoominQuartz (IceCreAMS)



Series: Jam Bud Week [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Flashbacks, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Jam Bud Week 2020, Nonbinary Character, Other, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCreAMS/pseuds/MoominQuartz
Summary: While they're alone, Connie asks to try something new.Written for Jam Bud Week, Day 4: Alone/Together.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Series: Jam Bud Week [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622275
Comments: 30
Kudos: 157





	Pronoun Play

**Author's Note:**

> This only vaguely hits the prompt but I've had the idea for this forever, so I had to seize the opportunity to get it out of my system. AO3 is probably going to say this is posted on the 7th, but it's still the 6th where I am, darn it!
> 
> (Also this is only really peripherally hurt/comfort, most of the focus is on exploring gender.)
> 
> Does this take place in the old house or the new one? You decide!

“You ever think about how Stevonnie uses they?”

Steven blinks up from the issue of _Lonesome Lasso_ in his hands. Connie sits with her back against his mattress and the Gamestation controller in her hand, eyes on the character customization screen. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, you do?”

“Uh.” Steven shrugs, sitting upright on the bed, crossing his legs underneath him. “I dunno, I don’t… think a whole lot about it. Why?”

Connie hums. She’s changing the character’s gender between male and female. “I guess that makes sense. You’re Steven.”

He scoffs. “Okay, what does _that_ mean?”

“It means gender’s never meant anything to you.” Connie sighs and sets the controller on the ground, rubbing at her forehead. “You put on a dress and makeup and heels, and you’re still Steven. You fuse with a girl, you’re still _Steven._ Even if your pronouns and gender presentation are different from moment to moment, you’re still you.”

He scratches at his head, watching her. Her eyes stare up at the ceiling, unfocused. This isn’t something they’ve ever really talked about in depth. 

“Are you… not?”

She shrugs, sighing gently. “I don’t know. As Stevonnie, when people call us ‘they…’ it feels good, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it much.”

“Does it feel good when people call you ‘he?’”

“It feels… normal? Does it feel good when people call you ‘she?’”

“No.”

Steven scootches forward until his legs dangle over the bed, hovering over the dropped controller. “Want me to call you something else?”

That gets Connie to look over. “…Uh… if you don’t mind? Can we try it, just while we’re alone?”

“Sure!” Steven suddenly feels, bizarrely enough, _happy._ That Connie would trust him with this, with something so personal, has him lighter than feathers. “Let’s see. ‘Connie’s my favorite person in the whole wide world, and I love them _so much.’”_

Connie giggles, cheeks blushing. “Okay, you dork.”

“It’s true!” He slides down, butt to the floor, shoulders bumping. “They’re _so cool._ They’ve got this really kickass sword that Bismuth made for them. And their laugh is my favorite sound _ever,_ and their smile—”

“Okay, okay!” Connie nudges his shoulder so hard, he falls over. They’re both laughing as Steven rights himself, and when he feels the floating start, he grabs onto Connie’s arm in order to bring himself back down, and that just makes Connie laugh even harder.

As it dies down, Steven looks to Connie, an anticipatory smile on his face. “So? Did you like it?”

“…yeah.” Connie’s voice is quiet, but they look up into Steven’s eyes, and Steven’s heart skips a beat. “Yeah, I did. Let’s try it, just while we’re together and we’re alone.”

“Sure thing.”

“Did you want to try a different one, too?”

“I dunno. I’ve never thought about it.”

“Maybe you should. You could just try it, if you want, and no harm done.”

He hums. He _could,_ but he’s never particularly felt strong about it. He adores dresses and feminine attire, but the thought of it being something he incorporates into his identity had never occurred to him. “Sure. Let’s try ‘they.’”

“Okay.” Connie takes Steven’s hand in theirs. “Steven’s my _favorite_ person. They’re so strong, and so _sweet,_ and they’ve got a _really_ great fashion sense.”

Steven laughs. “What? I wear the same thing, like, all the time.”

“But when you wear something different, people look at you like you’re a model.” Steven shrugs. Connie watches them for so long that finally, they sigh and give him another, gentler nudge. “So? How was it?”

“I dunno. I don’t mind it, but it’s not good or bad.”

“Do you want to try ‘she?’”

The word makes Steven warm in ways it probably shouldn’t. No one’s ever called _Steven_ that. Some gems believed Steven was Rose or Pink Diamond. But they weren’t ever talking about _Steven._

And maybe it’s just because, of the major sets of pronouns, that’s the one Steven hasn’t used yet. But…

“Sure.”

Connie smiles. Their hand travels up Steven’s arm to circle around her neck. “Steven’s my favorite person. She’s _handsome,_ and she’s _kind,_ and she always knows how to throw a party.”

Steven blinks.

She’s wearing a dress with her stomach exposed. She’s sitting on a throne, and Blue Diamond tells her what a great job she’s doing. There are lashes longer than her arms and nails taller than she is.

_“Starlight.”_

“Steven…?”

Connie’s set their hand on Steven’s arm, and she starts out of it. Her stomach lurches.

“Steven, if it’s not good, then—”

_“No.”_

She grabs Connie’s hand, squeezing it in her own. “They… they almost took dresses from me. I couldn’t wear them for the _longest_ time. I’m not going to let them take this from me, too.”

There is a long moment of silence, broken only by the sound of a looping tune on the video game. Connie holds her hand in both of their own, rubbing their thumb in small, soothing motions.

“I’m sorry.” Connie winces. “I didn’t mean to…”

“No, no.” Steven sighs. “It’s okay. I… I _want_ it to be okay. Let’s try it more, but… only when we’re alone.”

Connie smiles. “All right. You’ll let me know when you’re ready for more, okay?”

She smiles back, relief flooding her. “Yeah. I will.”

Connie glances back at the screen, picks up the controller once more, and makes their choice.

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea of nonbinary Connie & Steven. Or really just like... trans in general. I'm super fond of the headcanon that Steven is a trans guy (which is... total projection, I'll be real. But also that CYM finale really cements it for me), but the idea of Steven considering using she/her pronouns makes me happy, too. It's a shame so many people have called Steven "she/her" when actually referencing Rose, because I think Steven could be happy with them after a long fight against the baggage that comes with them.


End file.
